Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, December 26, 2011.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is the final Monday of this year. Huh?

What are you going to do with it? You're going to sit around and look at those gifts that you kind of wanted, but not really because some

content by either right thing despite the fact you fucking wrote it down. Yeah, no turtlenecks. I don't want any fucking turtlenecks.

I know, but I just thought you might like this one. What made you think that sweetheart? The fact that I said I didn't fucking want it.

I'm not yelling. This is frustration. Oh, you fucking yell too.

What the fuck is with people? They sit there and they bitch, right? And they got only God. You're so hard to shop for. I just don't know what to get you.

Just make me see make them a fucking list. You give them four goddamn things. And what happened to Christmas? You know, get one of those fucking things, right? And you're sitting there going, I don't want to be a selfish cunt, but what the fuck?

You know, you told me you wanted the little kitty carry all fucking goddamn iPad thing didn't I go out and get you that motherfucker?

It's unreal. And you know, it's just every fucking year. There's this bullshit or they get you the wrong fucking color. I'm telling you.

It's the most frustrating fucking thing ever. So then what happens? It's after Christmas and now you got to go return all this bullshit. I'll just go online and buy yourself whatever the fuck you wanted. Anyways, right?

Isn't that what you got to do? I know right now. This is, you know, I know Christmas is, you know, totally an American holiday here. So I don't mean to close out or shout out any of my fucking listeners over there in Europe.

I know you don't celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas. I get it. It's part of our history. Santa Claus is American.

I just love doing shit like that because I know a good 15% of my European listeners actually thought I was serious that I didn't think that they had Christmas.

Do they know it's Christmas time? I know you guys celebrate Christmas. You know why? Cause the Vatican is over there in Italy.

Police some more. Those L. Dente douchebags with their big fucking hats walking around trying to tell you how to live life as they steal gold from Jewish people in the fucking World War II.

As they play a little patty cake with some eight year old nuts. Right? The fuck is wrong with how long can you sit there?

I look, I get the seven deadly sins. I get the 10 commandments. Just live your life that way. All right, but for the love of God.

You know, you know, kills me about people really get into this shit. You know, and I guess I should respect them because, you know, for all I know, there's stuff 100% true.

But my gut tells me it isn't my gut tells me that's a bunch of made up fucking stories by a bunch of goddamn psychopath. That's what my gut tells me, you know, and I've been watching a lot of Oprah lately.

Okay, and I'll tell you something about that big fish. I fucking jackass. She says to go with your gut.

All right, and like the Catholic church, she's also worth a billion dollars. Okay, so I'm going with her fucking wide flat ass sitting on that big fucking sofa, telling me how to live my fucking life.

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