meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 1-23-23

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.734.1K Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2023

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about NFL Playoffs, his trip to Disneyland, and giant turkey legs.

Helix: Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.  Go to www.HelixSleep.com/BURR

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday.

0:07.0

Um, January 23rd, 2023. Oh wow, 123, 23. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go put that on when I'm

0:19.3

fucking scratch tickets. I can't remember the last time I bought one of those. The old scratch

0:25.3

ticket, right? And then what happened? You hit it for 700 bucks and you open your mouth and

0:30.0

the next thing you know, you got to buy all your shithead friend's drinks, right? And they

0:35.4

start answering ordering fancy shit and you're fucking sitting there looking at him like, what a

0:40.2

cunt. You think if this guy hits 700 bucks on a scratch ticket, he'd fucking let me know about it.

0:45.6

He turns around and he's gonna do a shot of Johnny Walker blue. I think I don't have fucking bills

0:52.6

to pay. That's how people get killed. They get killed with those scratch tickets. And happens. I've

0:57.6

seen it. I've seen a HBO undercover about it. Um, I'm hanging out here in my, my lack of a podcast

1:08.2

studio. I'm still trying to get my fucking microphones fixed here. Um, and I am watching the bangles

1:16.3

verse the bills. It's 27 to 10. 27 to 10. And if you didn't see this fucking game coming, you

1:26.1

didn't watch them against the dolphins last week with a very underwhelming performance against the

1:32.4

Miami dolphins and some guy named Skylar something or other at quarterback. Um, which I was talking about

1:39.4

like, I think this is like the golden age of backup quarterbacks. Because I'll tell you, when I was

1:45.8

growing up, God damn it. When a backup quarterback came in, he fucking stunk. I'm trying to think

1:57.1

that's a great question. The all time greatest backup quarterback. Send your submissions. All right,

2:05.5

I don't even, I'm trying to name backup quarterbacks. When I was, unless you had a quarterback

2:10.8

controversy, where they had like Pat Hayden and Vince Faragamo or David Woodley and, um,

2:22.0

and something else. He was the other dawn struck. Um, all right. His what fascinates me here

2:28.9

about this game here. This guy 88 just caught one ran a fucking seam route. I think that is we

2:33.3

run right down the hash marks. Is that what it's called? I don't know what. And now,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from All Things Comedy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of All Things Comedy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.