Episode 54: The Watchtower

Episode 53: Dirty Work

Wolf 359 - Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music

Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew's morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation.
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Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music

And the Mission. Mission mishaps, entry 1.

Hephaestus formal complaint number ARB 062, Day 510.

Okay, I think that ought to... Okay, I think that ought to... Aha! See, Hera? I told you I could get the PA system working again.

I did too. Well the point is it's working now, okay? And right

in the neck of time too. Good evening Hephaestus.

Welcome to the Doug Eiffel, Motivational Boost Hour.

Tonight's episode is brought to you by not fully reading your contract before you sign it,

not realizing what some of the fine print is saying and getting stuck with some jobs that really

push the boundaries of what a communications officer is supposed to do.

get off my case already, please, and thank you, foundation. But in any case this is supposed to be

I got this written down somewhere. Here we go. It's a quarterly, quarterly. That's cute. A quarterly

station-wide broadcast to lift morale and boost the crew's spirits? Well that sounds super...

Yeah, I mean we got the station and the broadcasts, so the morale should just be real boostable,

Hey, hereah, you got any ideas for this morale booster, Majig?

Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that. Wolf 359 is a radio drama in the tradition of Golden Age of Radio shows. Take one part space-faring adventure, add one part character drama, and mix in one part absurdist sitcom, and you get Wolf 359.

0:00.0	And the Mission. Mission mishaps, entry 1.
0:27.0	Hephaestus formal complaint number ARB 062, Day 510.
0:38.0	Okay, I think that ought to... Okay, I think that ought to... Aha! See, Hera? I told you I could get the PA system working again.
0:51.0	I did too. Well the point is it's working now, okay? And right
0:58.7	in the neck of time too. Good evening Hephaestus.
1:07.0	Welcome to the Doug Eiffel, Motivational Boost Hour.
1:11.0	Tonight's episode is brought to you by not fully reading your contract before you sign it,
1:15.2	not realizing what some of the fine print is saying and getting stuck with some jobs that really
1:19.5	push the boundaries of what a communications officer is supposed to do.
1:25.0	Our show is also brought to you by,
1:27.0	the Sea Commander, I'm doing the thing,
1:29.0	get off my case already, please, and thank you, foundation. But in any case this is supposed to be
1:36.7	I got this written down somewhere. Here we go. It's a quarterly, quarterly. That's cute. A quarterly
1:49.6	station-wide broadcast to lift morale and boost the crew's spirits? Well that sounds super...
1:57.8	Yeah, I mean we got the station and the broadcasts, so the morale should just be real boostable,
2:10.0	and we'll do that by um
2:14.0	hmm
2:17.0	well uh...
2:22.0	well uh... Well, uh, hmm.
2:25.0	Hmm.
2:27.0	Hey, hereah, you got any ideas for this morale booster, Majig?
2:37.0	What do you mean you're not?
	...

Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music

Wolf 359

Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC

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