Hey Jordan Harbinger here from the Art of Charm welcome to mini-saud Monday your weekly shot of personal developments.

Is but I so happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable.

You can implement right away it'll make you more magnetic and effective that's the idea anyway.

And today look this one I love because I wish I'd done a long time ago.

We're not very intentional about our friendships I remember when I was in college I was just friends with the guys that lived on my floor and then we decided I would get.

I guess we should live together because we don't live in the dorms anymore and by the time college was over I was kind of like.

How did I end up friends with these guys have nothing in common with and like I can't wait to just like make different new friends and that was my own fault.

These aren't even bad people it was just I just never was intentional with the type of friends that I have and you've heard the gym run quote a bajillion times that you only goes high as your five closest friends.

So those are the people around you by default. Well you've got a default life. That's no good.

So here's an exercise to start figuring out how you can think a little bit more about this right down your 15 closest friends and then write down why you are friends.

And you're going to find there's some people in there that you grew up with and this is totally fine it doesn't matter if you met somebody because you live near them.

I'm not saying every single friendship has to be made with an outcome in mind.

I'm just saying this will get you thinking about certain people that are valuable and certain people that are default that you have always been thinking well you know been friends for a while.

Well wait a minute you know we met because of this why am I still dealing with this crap but write down why you like them.

And for other folks figure out maybe why you don't jive anymore or why you don't want them necessarily to play this big part in your life anymore.

And you can also then start to take actions to surround yourself with people who have the qualities you wrote in the list that you like.

And of course those actions are covered in a lot of our toolbox episodes and the other content that you hear on the art of charm but you want to figure out who you really want to surround yourself with and those types of friends that you already have.

People that maybe you want to limit your time with and then of course you can start to steer your actions towards the ones that you really do like to to be with and be around that are elevating you.

And that is so important we literally never do this in our lives most of the time and of course is a little bonus which I don't think is a bonus I think this should be part of it reach out to those let's say 10 people on the like list and share with them why they made the cut.

Share with them what you need not to say made the cut please don't in fact but share with them look hey you know the reason I like you I just feel really supported and you're super creative and always like hearing what you're up to and you make me laugh all the time.

It sounds a little weird especially for guys to do that but I think guys really do need to support each other in this way because we really don't value this is men we kind of think like oh yeah you know it's on when I were activity partners we play racquetball we never think like you know I should just tell that guy that he's really damn funny because I don't I don't know if I've ever have.

And whenever I send people a little email or a note or mention something like this to somebody that maybe I've never said anything like this to inevitably even months later they'll say hey man thanks just thanks for that I needed that the day that I read that I was I just I'm really glad that that was the first email I opened and I think wow you know this actually made a difference to this person so you'll be surprised you will surprise yourself both with the people you surround yourself with you'll surprise yourself with your ability to create.

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