Welcome to many so'd Monday happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away this stuff makes you more magnetic and makes you more effective and today we've got Ryan holiday talking about dealing with ego and people that you simply can't stand here's Ryan I'd love to hear your thoughts on

what to do when we have that person where we think about them and we we they just fill us with revulsion and rage and we can't stand them and they're getting what we should have what do we do about that how do we control our ego how do we manage that look I've been there myself right there's that one of my favorite songs is always love by not a surf and so I always love because hate will get you every time I think that's what you find is that you know you you have this sort of hatred or resentment or

showing all these men and women so can't imagine going on but it eats at you and they feel nothing they don't even think about you and so this is obviously ego right you're obsessed with something that's totally out of proportion with the rest of the world and and you know Margluth they came talked about this too is like hate is too great a burn to bury you you should feel forgiveness and pity and love and what it is I know I talked about an

Everyone else, we want to dehumanize the people that are maybe on the other end of what

we experienced.

Instead of seeing them as human beings, there's a line from Socrates where he says, like,

nobody does wrong on purpose.

I think you want to remind yourself, like, how often the things that you're mad about,

the person not only didn't do to hurt you, they thought they were probably doing the

right thing.

And so I try to work myself through that and I try to take that person that I feel

that intense negativity or anger towards.

And I try to remind myself of a couple of things.

One, that it's actually probably not working out as well for them as you would think it

is.

Like, they're probably not super happy.

And two, what can I focus on that is good about them, that I like about them that can

feel me with some sort of positive feeling as well?

You go not only into thinking about how their dishonesty, selfishness, laziness, whatever

are not going to just not only not going to work out for them in the end and how the things

that are causing you to dislike them are likely part of their own punishment, but also

you try to figure out a reason why you don't necessarily have the same ill will towards

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