Mini-Episode: How to Identify and Deal with High Conflict People

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Relationships, Mental Health, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 12 July 2018

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Recently Connor was on a call where somebody had been talking about being in a relationship with somebody that they deemed to be a narcissist, but it dawned on Connor that it might be a high conflict individual, which presents a little bit different. Connor jams on this in this mini-episode. Have a question for Connor? Check out our Facebook Page and join the community. For more information about ManTalks or to join a ManTalks Mastermind: Click Here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Stitcher Radio For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com  Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Did you enjoy the podcast? If so please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. It helps our podcast get into the ears of new listeners, which expands the ManTalks Community Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The Tech See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome, guys and gals to The Man Talk Show. I'm Connor Bieden, and today we are going to talk about how to
0:06.0	identify and what to do with high conflict people. Now, this actually came out of a webinar that my
0:12.3	fiance and I were leading the other day called Understanding Men, where I was unpacking and we were
0:17.2	unpacking the inner workings of men and masculinity.
0:25.2	There was a lot of women and men on the call, and it got brought up that one of the people had been in a relationship with someone that they deemed to be a narcissist.
0:29.6	And when they described the behavior of this person, it hit me, and I disagreed with
0:35.0	them that they were a narcissist because I think that we, you know, in modern culture, that word, that categorization gets tossed around a lot. And I said,
0:43.0	I don't think that they're a narcissist. I think that they're a high conflict individual,
0:46.3	which presents a little bit different. So today I'm going to walk you through the four ways to
0:50.8	identify a high conflict individual, what creates these individuals, and then what
0:55.2	to do with them. So first and foremost, the first thing that you need to understand about high-conflict
1:00.4	individuals is that they have a preoccupation, a propensity of blaming other people. So no matter
1:07.4	what the problem is that's going on in their life, they have a preoccupation
1:13.0	with blaming other people. So they see challenges in their life. They see problems in their life,
1:17.4	but they don't think that they are at cause or at fault for any of those problems. And when I say
1:24.3	any, I mean, this is a very real way. Some people do this to a certain degree.
1:30.4	They play the victim. I think we all do this to a certain degree. But high conflict people are really in the state of blaming everybody else for their problems.
1:41.2	Now, one of the things that is a sort of telltale sign of a high conflict individual
1:46.3	is step number two, or way number two to identify them, is that they use absolutes and
1:52.5	universals to blame other people. Now, absolutes or universals are things like always, never, constantly.
2:01.8	And whenever the conflict does come up, this high conflict individual will say things like
2:06.9	you always or you never.
	...

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