The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me.

An advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis. The middle-aged brother, McElroy.

And I'm Griffin McElroy. Thanks for listening, folks.

I want to join in. Hey, shut up. I want to talk about my thing.

So fast. So furious. It's really quick.

It's really quick.

Guys, it's going to blow your mind, and you're talking about other bullshit.

Instead of the very important thing.

I'm welcoming our guests to our house.

I don't care about them.

Me and Justin have some fucking party snacks.

We got some rich crackers, different savory delights on them.

And you just ran in and...

That's flying.

Bicycle kicks.

Don't go a big bucket of cool aid on them.

That's because you guys are living in the past.

...