The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the Modernaire. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your baby brother, Griffin McElroy.

Guys, the government is shut down. Scrapping it together against all odds.

Gaman Twine over here sticking it together with Gaman Twine.

This is the worst conditions under which we have ever recorded my brother, my brothers. Let's bring it down.

Let's bring it down. This is the daddy I made you an ash tray episode.

You thought that we weren't going to have an episode. Maybe it would have been better if we didn't,

but we got hungry mouse to feed. So condition one, my Macintosh computer,

made by Apple Corporation is dead. I am recording on a personal computer made by Bill Gates himself.

I'm assuming in his college days because it doesn't have anything.

Bill Gates sent Justin email, said, listen, Justin, I understand you need to scrap together

a butt quality episode. I understand that this is something you need to do. So have this Tandy 12 for free.

This is the 12th Tandy to roll off the line.

I try to install Java and a guy came by and poured coffee into my lab.

Is the worst computer anyone's ever used?

I am recording at work at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company in the ladies' dressing room.

I am skyping through my phone, recording on to my computer.

You may from time to time hear them record rehearsing of my cinnamon in the background.

...