The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

This is my brother, brother, and my brother made an advice for the modern era.

Let me break out this fucking tech news. I'm trying to, you're trying to, you're trying to,

right? And you're stepping on my, what are you doing? That's the breaking news sound.

Yeah, that's the one we paid that studio a thousand to pump thousands of dollars to make,

and you got so mad at us, because you said it sounded like us going boob boob boob boob.

Yeah, let me hit play again so you can do your brain. Okay. Breaking news from 22 Infinite Loop.

It's the new model of everyone's favorite touchable. It's the guy phone.

They changed it. They changed it. It's the new model. It's so long.

Going along with Dr. Pepper and Seven Abyss just for men.

Nope, that's not it. It's a little anthropomorphic phone. It lives in your pocket. It's just a little guy.

It's horrible. He's just a little guy. He lives in your pocket. He does all the things that I have

on five days. He's like a phone or a guy. He is, imagine a hybrid, a both.

Okay, wait, okay, wait, hold on. So like a phone with arms and legs or like a man with a

phone for a face. It does, it has appendages. Okay. It has appendages and it has a fleshy,

scratch resistant exterior. The thing you should know about the appendages is that they are

extremely breakable. Oh my god. It's like Mr. Glass from Mr. Glass from Unbreakable.

You'll never stop hearing about it. So be careful. You have a phone call.

Must be nice. I don't have arms. I'm guy phone. I'm guy. There's an unrapped starlight

...