MBMBaM 152: Heaton Up

My Brother, My Brother And Me

Justin McElroy

Mbmbam, Mcelroy Brothers, Advice, Justin Mcelroy, Travis Mcelroy, Comedy Advice, Mcelroy, Griffin Mcelroy, Comedy

4.9 • 31.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2013

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, Justin announces that he's ready to give the greatest Mother's Day gift of all: The gift of life. He's got a baby, in there. In that crazy womb of his. Suggested talking points: Junior Disease, Complaints, Genny Up, Patricia Chiefin, Sexual Kobayashi Maru, Rattata Frittata, Homeland, Kid Court

Transcript

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0:00.0	The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.
0:05.5	Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.
0:11.2	Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool
0:16.7	they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.
0:44.1	Welcome to my brother, my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era. My name is Justin McElroy,
0:49.6	and I've brought the two of you here because I have some big news. Hit me with your rhythm stick.
0:57.5	I am going to be a mother. Justin. I am. God, something emotions running through my mind and my
1:08.0	heart right now. I'm flabbergasted. I would say the overwhelming emotional I'm feeling is confusion,
1:13.5	is confusion in the most. I have a lot of that, but it's overwritten slightly by excitement.
1:19.6	I really am so, I just mainly am bringing this up. I waited till today. Obviously, I just want you
1:28.6	guys to treat me super special today, just really super duper special. When is the... How far along are you?
1:35.2	I have four or five. I feel like. Which trimester is that? I think it's one of them definitely.
1:45.7	One of the big ones that everybody really likes to have it. Have you been practicing
1:51.9	you know? Pilates? Sprednett. Kegels? Pilata Kegels. Kegels, you don't... Pilata Kegels.
1:58.3	You don't... Here's the secret. You don't want to do Kegels. You do not want to... You do not want
2:02.6	it tight down there. You want it limber. You want it loose. You want to do anti-kegels. You want to
2:07.3	be loose. You know, I had an anti-kegel once. You know, I had a spaceship powered by anti-kegels.
2:13.2	Really? Yeah. It was the logistical and probability of them was enough to make the ship go.
2:19.1	Listen guys, I just really... The main thing for me is that you just treat me really nice and
2:23.5	even if on the off chance I never bring up being a mother again. Yeah. Can't imagine that happen.
2:29.0	Now, Justin, what would you say to your haters that might accuse you of just trying to capitalize
2:34.0	on the mother's day attention? Gosh. That is so like the younger generation. You know? Yeah.
	...

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