The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you've cool baby.

Let's just jump right into it guys. Dear Abby's dead, and what do we do now?

In this... Where do we go from here?

In this post-it-fot is a really terrible direction that we could take this booth, but I'm actually like

super sad. I feel like a pioneer is gone. Well, I mean, that is we do a super sad podcast.

A sad advice podcast is what shows up in our iTunes description.

Are we to mock the passing of a Titan?

One of my favorite dear Abby columns came from 1979. I thought this was the best way to remember her

before he moved on to some of the actual Goofs. She received a letter written by a fan of hers

who was complaining about a gay couple who had moved into her neighborhood. The letter writer said

that they have all sorts of strange company, men who look like women, women who look like men,

blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday, I even saw two nuns go in there. How can we improve the quality

of this one's respectable neighborhood? Her reply was, you could move.

Man, that's saying. I know, like in three words, she just takes somebody apart

in what usually takes us 15 to 20 hours to put together. That's good, man. She probably got

shit like that all the time, right? My black president who I hate is trying to take all my guns and

liberties away. Why does that guy, that fellow, if I may, I don't want to get to incendiary here,

but why is that fellow want to take my guns? Right. My first listen, listen, listen. My AR-15

is a modern musket and I use it for one list shut up. I use it for one thing and that sport.

...