The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you've cool baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very special, very personal episode of my brother and me.

We have an announcement to make to begin this episode. Gosh, guys, I don't really know how to

Well, I mean, we've consulted a lot of our family and friends, and a lot of people we really

respected. I think it's time that we just, you know, it's 20 dirt. It's time we come clean. It's 20

That's so true, Travis. It's 20 dirt. It's time to dig it up. Come clean. We have been

Doping. There it is. Beginning in June of 1998.

Uh-huh. Basically over a decade before we would begin the show in preparation to record this program,

we have been injecting bullsemen into our buttocks nature's funniest animal.

The nature's funniest liquid directly into us. Every day, every hour for the past 15 years.

I am fucking chock full of bullsemen. Like it's, I sweat the stuff and it's, right?

Do you know how the human body is like 75% water at this point? Gryffin is like 72% bullsemen.

Right. It's why I can't really run. I amulate slowly, but it's because I'm very viscous inside.

Um, and he basically can't go to a dairy farm. They will. He basically, if he walks, runs through

with hands outstretched, he can impregnate 10 to 15 cows a second. Yeah, they get, it's amazing.

They, they will try to get on top of this. And now I'm flattered.

Now a lot of people ask how you get into this sort of, there is a, a, an underworld, I guess,

and I'm, I'm worried about outing people. Mm-hmm. But I guess, well, let's use code names then.

We'll say Shmorden Shmores. Okay. Shmorden Shmores got us into it. And he was one of the first

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