The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you've cool baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's my brother and my brother me and advice show for

the modern era, our special Labor Day edition of our program. You know that means. Stop working.

What's that? It's Labor Day baby. It's time to split those giant, giant, wide open and get

some babies out of them. Let's induce this Labor Day. Let's induce this Labor Day and give birth to a

new day for our nation. I don't think it is ethically and morally dubious Labor Day because I don't

think it's right to induce the Labor just so that you can participate in the holiday. I don't think

it's right to plan your conception nine months ahead of time, which would be, that's like what,

early December or something like that. Who the fuck wants to have sex in early December? Not this time.

Well, you do it and you stay warm and you don't die in the cold. True love waits until five.

You have all those necessity babies. Yeah, sure. Sure.

Boy, if you have your baby on Labor Day and your first words, your baby are get it.

That baby is going to grow up with a really, really, really great sense of humor.

Well, if you have a baby on Labor Day, it's instantly in a union.

Yeah, that's true. And let me tell you the baby union, their strikes are unskabable.

Can't be done. You cannot scab a baby union. Everyone will know the difference.

How are you going to cross a baby pickup line?

Yeah, well, it's quite easy. I mean, they're fucking knee high. You can just,

you know, that's where I'm saying you gotta be careful. It'll trip right over on.

...