Maya Rudolph | Strait Up Crazy
The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
CBS
4.4 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 14 April 2026
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Laura Benanti guest stars as America’s first lady, and addresses last week’s bizarre press conference about her involvement with Jeffrey Epstein. Vice President Vance returned empty-handed from negotiations with Iran, President Trump is no closer to achieving his war goals, and the president deleted an AI-generated image of himself that many found blasphemous. A nice woman in a “DoorDash Grandma” t-shirt got a front row seat to Donald Trump’s chaotic relationship with the press when the president asked her to stick around for a news conference following her appearance in the Oval Office. Emmy-winner Maya Rudolph is making her Broadway debut in a show she calls “goofy and weird and bitchy and ridiculous and over-the-top.” Catch her in “Oh, Mary!” starting April 28th, tickets are available now at https://www.ohmaryplay.com.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Late Show will begin after this important message from First Lady Melania Trump. |
| 0:11.8 | Hello. |
| 0:14.4 | Last week, I held an extremely WTF press conference, |
| 0:20.2 | where I explained that I never spent any time with Jeffrey Epstein, |
| 0:24.6 | except for all the time I spent with Jeffrey Epstein. |
| 0:28.6 | I gave my speech for many reasons. |
| 0:31.6 | Most importantly, talking about Jeffrey Epstein |
| 0:34.6 | distracts people from the war that was started to distract people from talking about Jeffrey Epstein. |
| 0:44.3 | Yesterday, that war got worse, when the president decided to blockade the strait of Hormuz, |
| 0:55.0 | and no one is more upset than me when my husband wants to do straight stuff. |
| 1:05.0 | So, to once again distract from the war, I would like to make the following announcements. Just as I rarely hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, I rarely cooked with Jeffrey Dahmer. We just had overlapping social circles in Milwaukee. |
| 1:31.2 | I also want to insist that I am not a clone of Melania |
| 1:35.0 | that was created to appear in public with my husband. |
| 1:37.7 | I am the real one. |
| 1:52.9 | Thank you. Last, I want to put the rumors of marital trouble to rest by saying, I live at the White House, |
| 1:56.0 | and I am absolutely in love with my... |
| 1:59.0 | Ha-uh-w... |
| 2:00.0 | ... absolutely in love with my ha- I am in love with my ha- I am in love with my heart. Oh, I can't do it. |
| 2:33.3 | Bring in the clon. |
| 2:38.8 | Welcome to The Late Show. |
| 2:40.0 | I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. |
| 2:41.6 | Ladies and gentlemen, spring. |
... |
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