Oh, hi. I'm probably a bit fired for even being here. I'm an extra. I've written a script.

I'm writing myself at the moment and I find the whole process absolutely exhilarating.

What's the most about if you don't want to ask him? Well, you've seen me in X-Men.

Yeah. The character I am, Professor Charles Xavier. If you remember, he can control things with the power of his mind.

What if you can do that for real? I mean, not in a comic book world, but in the real world.

Oh, hi. So in my film, I play a man who controls the world with his mind.

For instance, I'm walking along and I see this beautiful girl and I think I'd like to see her naked and so all her clothes fall off.

All her clothes fall off? Yes. And she's scrabbling around to get them back on again.

But even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. I've seen it all.

Okay. It's a comedy, is it? No. It's about what would happen, you know, if these things were possible.

Well, hi there, everybody. Welcome to a Monday afternoon edition of TVTL.

It's the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

It's a ship that made the castle run in less than 12 parsecs.

I'm your host, Luke Burbank, weighing in today at 180 pounds.

I am satisfied with this story.

It's episode 559 in a collector's series, 559.

And we have quite a program in store for you on this Monday.

Hi, this is Luke from Susie coming tonight on TVTL.

We debut a new segment called Russell Crowe.

What? A Dick Wad.

That's right. It's the segment in which we tell you things that Russell Crowe has done lately that are evidence of what a Dick Wad he is.

Also, a Los Angeles suburb has come up with an incredibly inspired way to fight gang activity.

...