Well, good morning all, in here, out there, Mr. and Mrs. American, all the ships at sea to the

late show, I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. And tonight, folks, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,

my friends over here. Thank you, my friends out there. I need your strength because I come to you,

defiant, unbroken, unbout. Even though last night they held the drawing for the billion dollar

lotto, powerball jackpot, and there were no winners. No winner. Oh, really? How is that possible

considering last night on the show? I announced that these, these right here, were the winning numbers

because, may I remind you, they are on my ticket, okay? I even promised to share the proceeds

with the audience here, all right? Folks, we were getting ready to win this powerball, frankly,

we did win this powerball. Then, no, no, wait, listen, but then at 11 p.m. there was a massive

ball dump, okay? The dominion powerball machine flipped all the numbers. How were those balls

floating around in there like that? Could it be Hugo Chavis' ghost on Halloween night?

They stole the powerball from all of us audience, which is why I'm holding a stop the ball rally

at the bodega where I bought the tickets. Be there, will be wild. I tell you, I called a lot of

officials last night, I said, fellas, I missed the winning number by only all the numbers, okay?

I just need you to find me six winning numbers. Give me a break. Add a billion dollars. Okay, if my

theory sounds crazy, let me point out, I have a pillow, okay? And it can be yours for a billion dollars.

Yesterday, there she was also Halloween, president of the First Lady had an eventful

evening, greeting trick-or-treaters of the White House for the first time,

Jill dressed as a butterfly and Joe dressed as grandpa who thinks a hat counts as a costume.

Very sweet. Ah, this is good, this is good buddy, I'm all set. They had a great time giving out

candy to all the trick-or-treaters, knowing Biden, I'm guessing the kids got licorice and amtrak

schedules. Okay? Don't take the local, that's four hours, you want to take the, you want to take the

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