Martin Freeman - ‘We should be saying no to our kids’

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Sony Music

Society & Culture

4.7 • 9.6K Ratings

🗓️ 21 January 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Martin Freeman is one of the most sought-after actors of his generation. Whether it’s Tim in The Office, John - the mild-mannered porn actor in Love Actually, Watson in Sherlock, Bilbo in The Hobbit, the stressed parent in Breeders, the Liverpudlian cop with personal problems in The Responder and Everett K. Ross in Marvel Cinematic Universe smash hits Captain America and Black Panther - Freeman is a star, and to date has won two Emmys and a BAFTA. In this episode, Martin reflects on his childhood as the youngest of five (comparatively modest when you consider his mother was one of fourteen!) as well as the lasting impact of losing his father at ten years old. We talk about parenting, the people who’ve inspired him (hello, Michael Caine), the future of AI from a technophobe’s perspective, his unease with fame and the quieter failures that sit behind public success. Plus: strap yourself in for much hilarity. I don’t think I can remember a guest who made me laugh QUITE this much. Martin can next be seen as the determined Superintendent Battle in Netflix’s new Agatha Christie adaptation, Seven Dials. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 02:22 Dealing with Fame and Anxiety 05:12 The Everyman Label 07:35 Exploring Anger and Authenticity 16:28 Academic Struggles and Early Acting 20:33 Personal Reflections and Family 28:08 Comparing to Heroes 32:15 The Office and Sherlock 40:29 Technology Struggles 44:20 AI Concerns 47:47 Meeting Michael Caine 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You should say no to your kids. You should let them know that life's gonna kick 'em in the ass... that is a manifestation of love for me. There is a great deal of value in making a child bored... How else are you going to paint, or make up a story or learn a trade or learn a skill if you are literally mouth agape looking at a f***ing screen? The people who say it [success] doesn't solve your problems are obviously right... But love is a good start to it - it does more than anything else. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Seven Dials is available to watch now on Netflix. Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Stephen Merchant - on feeling like an outsider, learning to live with rejection and being banned from High And Mighty. swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2 Adeel Akhtar - the actor’s actor on the humbling impact of parenthood, cultural expectations and learning to let go of ego in order to grow swap.fm/l/eWxKBXUJZAAkfovquzwi 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Martin answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This month, we are partnering with Pink Lady Apples.
0:03.7	Welcome to How to Fail, the podcast that believes you can't truly be successful unless you learn from failure along the way.
0:11.6	Before we get started on this conversation, please do remember to follow and subscribe so that you never miss a single episode.
0:19.5	People don't need to know everything about me, you know.
0:22.6	They already know more about me than I wish they did. So I don't know why I'm doing this. Why am I doing this?
0:27.6	I don't know, but I'm so grateful. For me, parenting was, was and is, all of it. It's extreme love, it's extreme laughs, it's extreme affection, and it's extreme frustration and anger.
0:41.3	What we're in danger of doing sometimes now is taking away all the sort of the grit that makes people vaguely interesting or vaguely resilient.
0:52.6	This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. I don't know about you, but I am
0:57.9	craving a bit of winter sun at the moment and I'm so envious of our producer and a few of her pals
1:04.1	who are off to Grand Canaria in February. Highs of a balmy 22 degrees. Oh, bliss. And she's booked a gorgeous looking Airbnb with its own pool.
1:15.3	None of this sharing with all the other hotel guests or having to eat in restaurants every night.
1:20.5	It's the dream and ideal for a group holiday. She's just been showing me the photos of it,
1:26.0	sea views and super private for all those
1:28.6	sunset drinks. I might have to surprise her with a visit. She's booked using Airbnb's guest
1:33.5	favourites feature, the most loved homes on Airbnb, so she knows she's in for a glorious day.
1:39.8	From experience, Airbnb's guest favorites are the best, cleanest, all-round best days, and I
1:46.1	can't recommend using it enough. I just wanted to take a second to interrupt and tell you about
1:51.6	something very important in the shape of a pink lady. Now, I'm always on the move, whether I'm
1:58.5	recording this podcast, going to meetings with my agent,
2:01.7	or out and about on my book tour. So I often struggle with finding a healthy snack in the
2:08.0	middle of a busy day. Grabbing something sugary or salty is easy, but it's rarely what I
2:15.2	actually want in that moment. That's why I reach for a pink lady apple.
	...

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