Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 686

How can emotional triggers act as teachers, guiding you toward self-mastery?

Mark Groves joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 686, to share why emotional trauma is an initiation into personal growth, how unresolved wounds shape relationships and behavior, and why healing involves setting boundaries and building emotional resilience for healthier connections.

"Behind every trigger is an opportunity for mastery. When you are triggered, there's an opportunity for you to learn a skill set, but also expand your capacity to hold the trigger because there's information there." - Mark Groves

 

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In This Episode, Mark Groves Uncovers:

[01:30] Are You Ready to Answer The Call?

• Mark Groves
• 630 Mark Groves + Kylie McBeath | Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns + Create The Love You Desire
• 386 Mark Groves | Create More Love: How To Deal w/ Breakups, Boundaries, & Beyond
• 302 Mark Groves: Create The Love
• Finding Joe (2011)
• What happens if we're not ready to answer the call.
• Why people feel stuck in life.
• How emotional trauma is a type of initiation.
• Why we always go back to our old ways of being.
• When a partner doesn't choose us, they're not the right partner for us.

[08:20] Ignorance Is Bliss

• Why people attract wounded people as their romantic partner.
• How being dissociated from our pain keeps us stuck.
• Why depression and anxiety are a response to what's happening in our lives.
• When we create a change, we need to also create resources to hold what the change brings.
• Why being around successful people inspires us to be successful.

[13:30] The Emotional Cause of Disease

• Why obesity comes from trauma.
• When we're triggered in a relationship, it provides an opportunity to expand our capacity to hold the trigger.
• Why common truth is discovered in conversations.
• How autoimmune disease is a symptom of a deeper issue.
• Why having toxic relationships creates inflammation in the body.
• How having a regulated nervous system allows us to leave unhealthy relationships.

[18:30] Dysregulated Nervous System

• 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn’t Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma
• How Josh and his partner handle conflict.
• To have a regulated system, we need to balance all five sides of the wellness pentagon.
• How hypervigilant people constantly monitor for threats.

[21:30] We Need to Have Hard Conversations

• Dr. Stephen Porges
• How babies learn safety from looking at their parents' faces.
• Why babies can't regulate their own nervous system.
• How prioritizing feelings has made people disassociated and ashamed.

[28:45] The Dangers of Social Media for Children

• How empathy is learned in early childhood.
• Why smartphones are disconnecting parents from their children.
• How teenagers are pushed into posting inappropriate content to generate more engagement.
• Why we have the need for belonging and authenticity.
• How social media teaches children conformity and social norms.
• Why there is value in having diverse thoughts.

[35:30] Father + Son Relationship

• Why Mark's relationship with his father shaped who he is.
• How the absence of something motivates us to give it to others.
• Why a relationship is a third entity within the relationship.
• Guidance is always available if we believe it's always there.
• The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman
• Why some people are unlucky.
• The Secret (2016)
• We need anger to reinforce our boundaries.

[45:20] Integrated Wisdom

• Why Mark doesn't follow any religion.
• 674 Daniele Kathryn Hage | Gender Equality vs. Gender Equity: How to Have a Lasting + Loving Relationship For Life
• If we're humble, open, and connected to God, we can manifest the things we want.
• What Mark learned from his ayahuasca ceremony in Peru.
• Why we don't do the things that we know but we keep searching for more.
• Every trigger is an opportunity for mastery.
• How positive emotions can help in survival situations.

[55:15] What Drives Your Power of Choice

• What we fear to experience from our trigger is created by responding to the trigger.
• How the antidote to defensiveness is acknowledging someone else's point of view.
• Why boundaries feed self-worth and vice versa.
• How meditation and a good diet can help us create more awareness.
• Why cold-plunging teaches us a conscious choice.
• Why we chase unavailable people.
• How we're blocking the right people from coming into our lives.

[01:04:25] How to Increase Emotional Resilience

• We can't use the mind to understand what it has created within.
• Why friends should celebrate each other.
• How cold-plunging increases our emotional resilience.
• Why initiation moves us into maturation and community.
• How new behaviors allow the old self to die.
• Vitalogy be E. H. Ruddock

[01:11:00] Arrested Development after Trauma

• How trauma freezes our development.
• Why all trauma and abuse happen for us, not to us.
• Why the opposite of trauma is choice.
• How to access emotions from our childhood.
• The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• We can't change the past but we can change what it means to us.

[01:16:45] How to Heal Childhood Wounds

• How we can practically identify which childhood wounds are governing our lives today.
• Why we need to be blessed and restore what's sacred.
• How rituals and ceremonies are necessary for humans.

[01:21:40] The Healing Process

• 609 Connor Beaton | Self-Discovery Through Shadow Work + How To Find The Perfect Partner
• Why we shouldn't glorify the healing work.
• As adults, we start to choose which parts of us we want to keep or remove.
• Why people are seeking help when they want to fix something about themselves.
• How some of our healing intentions feed the brokenness.
• Why most of us have coping strategies that come from our shadow.
• We need access to choice in order to change our lives.
• 538 John Wineland | A New Masculine Paradigm: Leading With Love, Living Your Truth + Healing The World

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Power Quotes From The Show

You Can't Change Your Past But You Can Change What It Meant For You

"Anything that still feels sticky has wisdom to be gleaned from. Can you be with the reality that this did happen to you? And because you can't change it, can you actually change what it meant for you in your life? " - Mark Groves

Dissociating From Pain

"I was so disassociated from my pain and the way that I was trying to anesthetize the pain was through arousal and alcohol so that I didn't have to be in my body. If I was in my body, I had to hear: You're not great right now. You're not good emotionally. You're not acting in alignment with your integrity and your values. You're not learning the skills that you need to be a better partner, a better human." - Mark Groves

Inflammatory People = Inflammation In The Body

"If I'm at war with my own self-expression, of course there's inflammation in my body. I'm in relationship with inflammatory people.  I'm a high conflict person because I'm choosing to be in high conflict relationships. I am a match for them." - Mark Groves

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Links From Today's Show 

• Mark Groves
• 630 Mark Groves + Kylie McBeath | Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns + Create The Love You Desire
• 386 Mark Groves | Create More Love: How To Deal w/ Breakups, Boundaries, & Beyond
• 302 Mark Groves: Create The Love
• Finding Joe (2011)
• 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn’t Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma
• Dr. Stephen Porges
• The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman
• The Secret (2016)
• 674 Daniele Kathryn Hage | Gender Equality vs. Gender Equity: How to Have a Lasting + Loving Relationship For Life
• Vitalogy be E. H. Ruddock
• The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• 609 Connor Beaton | Self-Discovery Through Shadow Work + How To Find The Perfect Partner
• 538 John Wineland | A New Masculine Paradigm: Leading With Love, Living Your Truth + Healing The World