Managers. What's your best? Oh, well, I have to fire you now, story.

We had a sales incentive that my team hit their target for, so we all went out to an island resort for a day,

to hang out, play volleyball, and ride quad bikes. At lunchtime we put on a modest bar tab for our 50-odd team, around two beers each.

People started buying their own

beers and having a good time without going too far over the top. One of the top sales guns,

who we'll call Marky, is mingling with the team. Five meters away from his boss, with hundreds

of meters of beautiful deserted beaches in both directions, Markey pulls out the biggest role of

wacky tobacco I've seen in my life,

and has at it like it was the last one on earth.

Really? His gusto was impressive.

I gave him the,

Really, you're going to do that right now?

Eyes?

And so it was that I had to fire the guy.

The kicker is that he had booked a room in the resort on the island

for the night, and I was five minutes away from catching the ferry home. If he had waited

ten minutes to let her rip, it wouldn't have been on work time and he'd still have a job.

When my employee said smoke break, I just assumed cigarette, not crystal. Okay, I'll admit I didn't actually fire this

guy because I didn't get the chance. He starts work at 10 a.m. in the supermarket that I manage.

At 1004, I ask him to bring a case of coke from the storeroom and put it on the shelf. At 1006,

he comes back from the store without the coke and said, I didn't know this would involve

manual labour and promptly left.

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