What was the funniest comeback you've ever heard in a serious situation?

My father was a cop, and his partner was testifying about witnessing a substance deal in his rearview mirror.

The defense attorney, presumably trying to undermine his testimony, asks,

Typically, how far can you see through the rearview mirror? Well, I saw the moon once.

Every so often, people at my university

chalk up the concourse to advertise upcoming events. Since this is against the university code

to write on the concourse, everyone does it late at night. The city police normally run a couple of

bike cops, who tend to be d-bags through campus to make sure that everything is kept neat and

tidy.

A friend of mine was writing on the concourse one night and got caught by a couple of bike cops.

They stopped him and one of them asked him,

What are you doing out here with the sidewalk chalk?

Does Mommy not trust you with paint?

To which my friend replied,

What are you doing here on bikes?

Does your chief not trust you with a car?

It was an accident, but my friend effed up a standard greeting when he met his girlfriend's co-worker and said, Oh, hi, I've heard all but good things about you. She didn't notice, and I've been

dying to use it ever since. I can't find it now, but there's a Reddit comment thread

somewhere with a blind guy speaking about his computer set up.

Someone says, I'd love to see your keyboard, and he just replies, so would I.

Fricking stunning.

A friend of mine was shoveling snow out of his driveway one day when his neighbour came over while smoking a sig

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