Making Peace with Our Sexuality

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2026

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many of us were taught—directly or indirectly—that sexuality and spirituality are at odds, and that suppressing our sexual selves brings us closer to God. But what if that story is wrong? What if our sexuality is actually one of the primary ways we learn how to love? In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On podcast to discuss her book That We Might Have Joy and the role of eros energy—the aliveness that emerges when couples stop running their marriages from fear, control, and ego. Through stories from the book—like Samuel, whose fear of sexual feelings kept him stuck, and Bradley, whose relentless pursuit of sex was driven by shame—Dr. Jennifer shows how sexual repression doesn’t make us more spiritual. It just keeps us fragmented. Together, they explore why sexual integration—not suppression—is what leads to greater freedom, strength, and intimacy.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Our Valentine's Day sale is here and through Valentine's Day you can pick up any of my full-length
0:07.6	online courses for 25% off with the code love. This includes my new sex worth wanting course,
0:15.5	a course for couples to help you create a more passionate, intimate, and joyful marriage. We won't have another
0:22.3	site-wide sale like this until Black Friday, so don't spend another year hoping for change.
0:27.9	Get started creating it today. Again, that's 25% off all my full-length online courses
0:34.3	using the code love.
0:43.4	When we take the risk to love with our whole heart, to bring our full self without the guarantee of reciprocation, but that we choose to love as fully as we can, it's scary.
0:51.1	There is risk, but we create a freer space and we create a marriage that feels alive.
1:06.6	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,
1:13.1	sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
1:22.8	Jennifer, what a pleasure it is to have you on the podcast today. How are you?
1:27.2	Good. Thanks for having me.
1:28.7	Good. Emily and I have been reading your new book. It is absolutely fantastic. And I can't think of a better title for it. That you might have joy. Because it's this theme throughout the whole book about real joy that we can experience, especially with those with a good Christian background and
1:45.8	reconciled with sexuality. Yeah, great. I'm sure it's a labor of love. Yeah, it's been,
1:53.2	it was supposed to be a short book and, you know, to be written in a few months. And then it turned
1:58.2	into a much longer book and took four years. But I don't regret
2:02.5	any of that. It was also me sorting out my mind a little more on the subject. So it was time
2:09.7	well spent for me anyway. Yeah. Well, we've greatly benefited. And I hope everyone listening to
2:14.4	this episode will buy your book. and I'm sure they will be benefited
2:18.2	to. But today, I want to zoom in on one aspect of the book, and that is male sexuality,
2:24.8	which I think would be very fitting to talk about. And you share a story about a man named Samuel.
2:30.3	He's very scrupulous. Do you relate that story, and I think that will frame our discussion today.
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