You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.

Whenever you move to a new place, you're confronted

with a familiar challenge, how to make friends.

But unlike when you were young meeting other kids

in the playground, you're an adult now.

I often feel like I'm that person on the outside trying

to get in to a click of people.

It's like you're trying to psych yourself up

to approach someone and like scanning

your brain for something to say.

I don't always know how much my personality I can show people

right away, but I'm working on it and getting better.

It's an emotional journey I've gone through every few years

as I've moved across the country and around the world growing

up.

And even since I moved into my current home in Brooklyn,

I still struggle with making new, meaningful connections.

Making friends is the ultimate challenge for adults.

That's author Melody Warnick.

She's written two books on our sense of belonging

and how having community could help us feel at home

in new places.

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