How to have healthy dating expectations

Life Kit

NPR

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Business, Kids & Family

4.5 • 4.9K Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2023

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dating in search of "the one"? Relationship therapist Jeff Guenther, known as Therapy Jeff on TikTok, says that might not be practical. If your goal is a successful, long-term partnership, having realistic expectations and a clear understanding of your values is vital. We'll help you break up with your fantasy partner, do some relationship math and learn what it takes to build a successful partnership based in reality.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.
0:05.0	So, you're serious about dating. You want a partner for the long run.
0:09.0	You're looking for the one.
0:12.0	I think that it's very sweet and romantic
0:15.0	and I want to believe in soulmates.
0:17.0	And a big part of me really does.
0:20.0	But this also feels like I've been brainwashed by Disney movies
0:25.0	and I don't want to give Disney movies and fairy tales
0:28.0	all that much power over me and you probably don't want to do that either.
0:33.0	That's Jeff Gunther, a Portland-based relationship therapist in private practice.
0:38.0	You might know him as therapy Jeff on TikTok and Instagram
0:42.0	where he offers relationship advice on everything from why you can't get over your ex
0:46.0	to how to help your partner during a mental health crisis.
0:50.0	He says, dating can be hard work these days,
0:53.0	especially if you're showing up to that dinner in a movie
0:56.0	with lefty hopes or unrealistic expectations for the person sitting across from you.
1:01.0	I think you're really setting yourself up because if you're looking for the one,
1:05.0	I feel like the one probably feels like they need to be really perfect.
1:09.0	They need to just hit the ball out of the park every single time
1:13.0	and you're not giving them enough room to fail or be imperfect or have flaws.
1:18.0	When you're in a romantic relationship or at least on the path to one,
1:22.0	you might be quick to think about your own needs.
	...

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