Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.

Simply put, love is what happens after the fall. And by fall, I mean falling into love.

The natural high we get from colliding with someone, the stripping of layers, discovering a different connection, new beliefs and bodies, the dance, the banter, the hides we hit from this process is not love.

That is infatuation, that's a crush, a stirring,

dopamine, it is real, but that is not love.

It's only the first domino.

Love is the falling of many dominoes.

So this is something that I've learned over, I'm 49 now, how many relationships have I had?

One, two, three, four.

I've had five or six long-term relationships which you know stretched over if they

were all roughly three years, some even five to ten, that's pretty much most of my life.

So I have been single for stretches, you know, I think the longest was like four years. But I've mostly been in relationships

and also this doesn't count all the people that I've coached and done therapy with and this is my conclusion that love isn't

it's not the dopamine it's not the dopamine, it's not the, what they say is the honeymoon stage.

Love is actually noticing the dirty socks on the floor.

Love is what happens after you fall, you know, and what to do about that.

And I think this is what makes love so hard. I mean think about it. When you are in a

relationship think about what's happening think about what you're bringing to the

table and why it's so hard. In the beginning it's not hard because in the beginning, the chemicals in your

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