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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lotteries are Traps for Time Travelers with Rachel Chapman

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

41.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2022

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you were a time traveler, what would you do? Kill Hitler? Evacuate Pompei? Or would you go to 2016 and play the winning numbers for the biggest Powerball jackpot ever. If you said the 3rd one, you're the exact kind of jerk that podcaster and friend of the show Rachel Chapman is here to talk about this week. Rachel suspects that American lotteries are actually just honeypots, scams designed to trap those tricky time travelers so the government can extract their secrets. Could time travel be real and kind of boring? Are there sugar daddies for women in their 30's who mostly like to stay home and watch tv? And where does Alexis go two thirds of the way through this episode when she mysteriously vanishes?? These questions and more will be answered this week.

Transcript

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0:00.0

We're going to wind up a sliver just in a beaver punk Taylor Swift and looking back now

0:22.7

that's so rude because we've her alone or because of what he did.

0:29.8

That's because their history together, the fact that he punked her, I don't know what

0:34.3

her in his story.

0:35.3

I don't know what her in his story.

0:36.3

Oh, okay.

0:37.3

Well, well, it was Justin later dated Selena, who is Taylor's best friend.

0:43.2

It was not very kind to Selena and Taylor's, like, did not like him.

0:48.3

And then also Justin and Scooter Braun are like the same person to me.

0:54.3

Scooter Braun is like the reason why she's re-recording all her albums.

0:57.6

So.

0:58.6

Yeah, he's the biggest turd in the home music business.

1:02.2

Yeah, because he bought all of her albums from underneath her.

1:07.4

And so, yeah, so we don't like Justin and Scooter both go to what I like to call the

1:14.4

drip church, which is, I keep forgetting the name, but it's some church that keeps getting

1:18.8

with the pastures keep getting, yes, they keep getting accusers of sexual assault.

1:22.6

But they all dress, they all have like high-beast personas, and they do like, you know how

1:29.4

like traditional youth pastures would be like, you know who else was a long-haired hippie?

1:34.5

Jesus Christ, these guys are like, Jesus is lit, fam.

1:39.4

If you don't have swag, Jesus will give it.

1:42.9

A good sign you're going to the wrong church is if two people named Justin and Scooter

1:48.2

go there.

...

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