Oh my girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's um, the loser line.

Come on, just call me back!

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're walking downtown

and uses this charming pickup line on you.

Excuse me, miss.

Oh god.

But did you happen to drop your panties back there?

No.

Because I know I dropped mine when I saw you.

Maybe we can go look for them together?

No.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to take off one of your high heels

and throw it at his forehead like an ingest star.

Instead, given the number of the loser lines,

hopefully he can leave you an awkward voicemail

that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey, Triti.

...