It doesn't feel like it's me. It feels like it's a virus that came into my brain and it feels like my whole identity has changed.

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So today we're going to be talking about, I guess, a disorder that Joe and I honestly had never heard of until today's guest emailed us.

So we'll be speaking with someone who has homosexual OCD, so homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder, which I believe can also be referred to as sexual orientation OCD.

And it's an excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual despite identifying as straight.

So I don't believe that it's officially recognized as a form of OCD. However, there are a lot of people who have been sharing their kind of H OCD experiences and raising awareness for this particular anxiety in recent years.

There have been cognitive behavioral therapists who kind of support that this idea and fear falls within the umbrella of OCD. But we've got to guess on the line to really explain her whole experience with all of this. So thank you for being on today.

Thank you for having me.

Of course. So in your own words, what is homosexual OCD and how did you come to realize that you had it?

So how I would describe it is so basically H OCD is a type of pure OCD, which is constant obsessing over intrusive thoughts.

So you know, like we all have these thoughts like you could be walking over a bridge or something and then you have like a random intrusive thought like, oh, what would happen if I jumped over.

But basically when your brain is like prone to OCD or when you have OCD, it's just these thoughts they just stick to you. And for me, it's just constant obsessing over my sexuality.

So and yeah, the fear of being either bisexual or homosexual.

So when did you sort of realize, you know, did you did you have a specific moment that kind of brought this out of you where like from then on, you weren't able to kind of shake this thought in your head. Like when did this start?

So I should first mention that I've always been kind of prone to like obsessing. So when I was like 10 or 11, I had this horrible paranoia of like being kidnapped.

And that lasted for a month or so and then it went away. You know, I was just like, oh, it's just normal fears and stuff like that.

But then when I was again, when I was like 12, I started being very afraid of getting breast cancer.

And like these fears, they weren't like normal. I would feel like I'd have to do certain things or if I didn't like say a certain thing, something bad would happen to either me or my mom.

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