Hello, this is your Judge John Hodgman. This episode of the podcast was recorded live in Vancouver, Canada.

At the Rio Theatre, it was the first stop on our recent live Justice Tour through the Pacific Northwest, San Francisco and Los Angeles.

You'll be hearing all those great evenings later. But for now, let's go direct to the stage of the Rio Theatre for live justice.

Vancouver, we sent out a call for disputes and you answered. We're thrilled to bring you live justice British Columbia style. That means catch a flavored.

Shall we get into it?

Let's bring out our first set of litigants. Please welcome Graham and Paige to the stage.

Tonight's case. Love, dragsually. Graham file suit against his fiancee Paige. Paige thinks that if she would have become a vampire, she could continue living a normal life.

Graham thinks he's morally required to kill any vampires he comes across. Even if one of them is his beloved.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and delivers an obscure cultural reference.

I hate Dracula's. So much. Dracula's just suck blood. No one likes them. Get out of here, Dracula's. Dracula's love to hide and surprise you with their teeth. Honestly, couldn't be worse. Hate them.

Don't let Dracula apologize. Warp your mind. Dracula's bad. No Dracula's good. Simple as that. Fail of Jesse Thorn. Swear the men.

Graham and Paige, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever?

I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he is a known wolfman?

I do. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Where wolves of Vancouver?

Graham and Paige, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of yours.

Favors can either of you name the source of the cultural reference that I made as I entered the courtroom page. Why don't you?

I mean, you're the one who might be a vampire and I would like to have you on my good side. So why don't you guess first?

I think this is something that Jesse said earlier today.

Something that Jesse Thorn said earlier today.

All right, and that is in the guest book now. Graham, what is your guess?

I'm also going to have to go with something Jesse Thorn said, but perhaps earlier than earlier today.

You're like prices writing her? Yeah, pretty much.

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