Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week, contempt

of carport. Gilly brings the case against her husband Steve. Gilly believes the neighborhood

they live in is in the suburbs. Steve disagrees. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can

decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural

reference. My husband Pat has a theory about watering our newly seeded lawn. The water

has to trinkle from heaven and fall like tender little raindrops. Otherwise, the lawn won't

grow properly. Baylif Jesse Thorn, swear them in.

Gilly, Steve, please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the

whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear

to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that his home is neither urban nor suburban,

but rather subaquatic? I do. Judge Hodgman? Now, wait a minute, I would say that my submarine

in the Gawanas Canal, it's pretty cosmopolitan. It's pretty urban and is awfully comfy. It's

all mid-century modern, you know. John, just because your submarine is cosmopolitan and

urban doesn't make it urban. Yeah, well, your neighbors are narwhals. Yes, that's right. The

Gawanas Canal is full of narwhals because they're whales and therefore they do not need oxygenated

water in order to live. Otherwise, all creatures under the sea die in the Gawanas Canal because

there's no, they can't, it doesn't oxygenate properly, Jesse. Did you know that? That's the

problem. Oh, that's why it smells so bad. There's not appropriate title influx and outflux to get

oxygen into that stagnant, grody, hell stream. Anyway, the submarine was cheap. James Cameron just

called you one day and said, have I got a deal for you? Yeah, I got it. Well, you know, I got my

Google Alert set for cheap submarines in a 25 mile radius. Gilly and Steve, you may be seated

for an immediate summary judgment. One of your favorites can either of you name a piece of culture

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