Welcome to Judge John Hodgman, I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn.

This week's episode was recorded live in London, England at the London Podcast Festival

at Kings Place with special musical guest, Emmy the Great.

Let's go to the stage.

Tonight's case, pleading the fifth.

Will is the fourth in a series of men in his family with the same name, and he wants

to keep the tradition going, making his potential future child the fifth.

Jesse says this practice is patriarchal.

She'd rather not follow it.

Who's right, who's wrong, only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

You all may be seated. You stay.

I've known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast.

You smile like Garyin and fight like Tiggin.

There's some of Kevin in you, else you would not wear that cloak.

But Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you.

I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year.

Weird dads are such thundering great fools.

Even the sword to come along once in a thousand years.

Bale of Jesse Thorn, swear them in.

Please raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you God or whatever?

...