Veteran journalist. That's what I was described as last night on politics home. I don't know what to be more insulted by veteran or journalist. Can you believe it?

I can believe it because last year I got given a lifetime achievement award, which usually means you're on your way out, love.

I know. I really, I couldn't go to on your way out, love. I know.

I really, I couldn't go to sleep.

What people don't understand, Ian, is that we are not old or veteran.

We are in our prime.

Well, I think so.

Now, of course, you might not notice it with me, because, of course, I am today sporting a false beard, moustache, nose and dark glasses.

And why would that be? I thought you only did that on a Saturday night.

Because shush, everybody, I am in the den of the lions. I am in the heart of the enemy. I am in

Conservative Party conference.

Never have I seen so many middle-aged blocs in one place, white blokes at one time.

Well, it hasn't actually started yet.

We should explain that we are on the global radio stand, the LBC stand, in the exhibition,

which is where my programme is going to come from on Monday and Tuesday.

And the conference is basically empty. They have what's called the national convention this morning

which is all the party bigwigs gather together so the conference doesn't actually get started

until about 2 o'clock so if you hear lots of extraneous noises it's sort of like hoovers and

catering stuff so we are going to talk about the conference.

We're going to talk, I suspect a little bit about Boris. The revelations about the Salisbury

suspect this week. Possibly might mention my starring appearance on any questions. Actually,

I don't think it was starring at all, but there we go. What happened at the Labour Party conference in Liverpool,

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