Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
4.9 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 31 January 2023
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Abuse of any kind is entirely inconsistent with God's plan for marriage, as described in Scripture. Today Dr. David E. Clarke returns to the podcast to debunk reasons that godly women give for staying with their abusive spouse. Dr. Clarke has counseled so many spouses who have been taught that God wants them to remain with an abuser, so today he explains a clear, biblical basis for separation from an ungodly, unrepentant, narcissistic, or dangerous spouse. Listen to learn about confronting the lies that keep you with an abuser.
Episode highlights include:
- Many wives will stay for the kids' sake. Is that good for the kids?
- How to know if the spouse is truly committed to change
- Advice for a spouse who stays because they do not have a job or income of their own
- Differences between addressing normal marital issues and dealing with abuse
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
- Get Dr. Clarke's book, 20 Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser
- Find all of Dr. Clarke's books and his many helpful resources at DavidEClarkePhD.com
- We believe a world full of awesome marriages will change the world! Our Marriage Changers get instant access to each monthly resource we create, and much more. Click to learn more about membership!
- Scripture references from today's episode:
- If you are unsafe in your marriage, please contact https://www.thehotline.org/ or 800.799.SAFE
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage. |
| 0:09.9 | I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few. |
| 0:13.4 | On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kimberly. |
| 0:17.0 | Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. His passion is to help you |
| 0:23.3 | strengthen your most intimate relationship. Well, David, thank you so much for joining us today |
| 0:32.7 | on The Us Marriage Podcast. You've been on before. I consider you a great friend and thank you for spending time with us today. |
| 0:40.0 | Well, the feeling is mutual, Kim. Thanks for helping me up. You're very welcome. So this new book, |
| 0:44.8 | 20 Lys that Keep You with your abuser. I love the book. I love the style of it. I think it's so user-friendly. |
| 0:51.9 | I guess I can use that word with it. It's easy to see what lie you believe |
| 0:55.8 | and then what scripture says and then some great stories and just I think it's very, very helpful. |
| 1:01.4 | So let's go back to just the whole idea of codependency. How do couples become codependent? |
| 1:07.5 | Well, codependents are trained. They're trained usually from their family of origin to become a codependent. |
| 1:14.0 | If it's a woman, let's say, could be a man, but it's a woman. |
| 1:17.7 | She sees her mom being a codependent to her abusive dad, her narcissistic father. |
| 1:22.3 | Boom. |
| 1:22.8 | That's 18 years of training, if not a bit more. |
| 1:26.2 | Okay. |
| 1:27.1 | This is how I'm not living in somebody else's house. |
| 1:29.9 | This is how it works. |
| 1:31.2 | And so she learns her role, especially if the mom never leaves and just keeps doing it. |
| 1:36.0 | This is how life is going to work out. |
| 1:38.7 | It's how you fake it. |
... |
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