License To Preach

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 21 January 2026

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Going to a catholic church, John’s Uber battle, graduation or wedding, and places we WILL be going… On the net, it’s a positive. ------ JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 1/23 Joliet, IL 1/24 Effingham, IL 2/19 Nashville, TN 2/20 Springfield, MO 2/22 Louisville, KY 2/26 Ithaca, NY 2/27 Reading, PA 2/28 Glenside, PA 3/1 New York, NY 3/8 Nashville, TN (Moved from 1/25) 3/19 Milwaukee, WI 3/20 Jackson, MI 3/21 Rockford, IL 3/22 Cedar Rapids, IA 3/27 Columbia, MO 3/28 Fayetteville, AR x2 3/29 Little Rock, AR 4/10 Stockton, CA 4/11 Anaheim, CA x2 4/12 Thousand Oaks, CA 4/17 Tucson, AZ 4/18 Houston, TX 4/19 Waco, TX 5/2 Fort Worth, TX 5/3 Amarillo, TX 5/14 Wilmington, NC 5/15 Evans, GA 5/16 Durham, NC 5/29 Jacksonville, FL 5/30 Asheville, NC 5/31 Columbia, SC 6/4 Mobile, AL 6/5 Florence, AL 6/6 Duluth, GA ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS COVE - Go to ⁠https://covesmart.com⁠, and use code NETPOSITIVE for up to 70% OFF your first order — easy, affordable, and peace of mind guaranteed. BLUELAND: Get 15% off your order by going to https://blueland.com/netpositive ROCKET MONEY: Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to https://RocketMoney.com/netpositive ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Easton Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lagos Creative⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Redeem your lab bucks on free bet spins or even cash in for real money.
0:04.6	That's satisfaction from Lab Brooks.
0:06.4	And for extra satisfaction, here's the T's and C's.
0:08.6	Let's rock.
0:09.8	18 plus participates in selected promotions to get LabBucks.
0:15.3	Go get lap bucks.
0:17.5	With evening four, offers or rewards, lap bucks expire for T's and C's a bride. Oh, welcome in the studio. Off is all rewards.
0:21.3	Lack bucks expire for decencies abroad.
0:25.2	Take time to think.
0:26.9	Yeah, but where I die of?
0:30.0	Oh, welcome in the studio.
0:31.4	Ladies and gentlemen, Net Positive, episode 185 or something like that.
0:36.0	I don't know, but I have no idea, dude.
0:37.7	$193.
0:39.0	1.93.
0:40.0	Oh, way off.
0:40.4	Dude, we're ahead.
0:40.8	We're ahead of schedule. Dang. We're at a sales schedule. I just walked back. We do, we film. Do people know that we film on Monday? Is that a secret? I think they do now. I think they know. Film on Monday. in the studio Wednesday on the streets if you listen to this live yeah and I just we I
0:54.0	just walk we it's a KK what is this like an office complex or something yeah
0:57.4	sure rental people the studio Wednesday on the streets if you listen to this live yeah and I just we I just
0:54.1	walk we it's a KK what is this like an office complex or something yeah rental people rent
0:58.6	office building office building yeah this guy I'm walking past this guy down selling something
	...

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