I am Yamla your host for this journey. I was a hopeless love a hollic but just could not get my love to work.

Then after a series of heartbreaks and deep heartache, I finally got clear about what love is and what it is not.

I want to share some of what I've learned about lover holism.

Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio

in partnership with I Heart Radio. Welcome, welcome. This is the R spot, the place we come to talk about all kinds of relationships, the challenges and issues that we find in relationships,

the place we come to learn skills, skills,

up-level improve and deepen our connection in relationships.

I am Yama, your guide, your host, your support mechanism, sometimes your cogging wheel, sometimes a little

cold water in your face, I will be whatever it is that is required to get you

on base in your relationships. I want to talk about something today that I think many people overlook, they overlook

creating it, they overlook the importance of it, and they overlook the process for an acting it and that's a deal-breaker.

What is your deal-breaker?

Whenever I coach a couple or support a couple who's about to get married, there are certain questions that I ask them. I ask them how are they going to make financial decisions? I ask them when there is an upset or breakdown in the

marriage. Who are the two people that they can go to to get inside guidance and then I ask each partner

what's your deal breaker? Sometimes they look at me as though I have horns

growing out my head.

What do you mean?

I mean, what is your dealbreaker?

What is going to end this thing on the spot

right there if it unfolds because if you don't know that if you don't know what

your deal breaker is if you don't have that boundary established you can find yourself in a situation where your partner is just behaving

badly and you are accommodating, tolerating, putting up with something that goes against the very grain

...