The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hey guys, how is everybody doing?

News alert, Jackie Shimmel has officially snapped.

Now, this isn't breaking news because I snap on a semi-regular basis, but the

snappage that has occurred in the last 72 hours is mind blowing, inspiring, debilitating.

I should be studied at a laboratory. My emotional range is that of Mariah Carey Circa 1998.

She's up, she's down, she's laughing, she's crying, she's screaming, she's chuckling, she's whispering,

she's hiding dice, she's baking, she's making candles, she's having a good cry, she's sanitizing,

she's making messes just to reorganize them and then conveniently abandoning the organization,

midway through, she's a mess. I woke up yesterday and I was like, what if I just shaved my fucking head?

Like dead serious, there was a moment where I contemplated shaving my head, I'm like, maybe I have

like low key one of those Natalie Portman faces that could pull it off or Carey Washington and

then I took a real hard look at myself and I was like, bitch, you ain't pulling that off.

The things I would do for an eyebrow shaping needle to the forehead and a fucking blow dry,

if I could wrap myself in saran wrap just to the hairline and fucking fit my scalp through

a window and have somebody just come outside my house and blow dry my fucking hair so that I can

look at myself and have a shrivel of self esteem aesthetically, that would be amazing. The other day,

I was like, you know, it's, I got to put some makeup on because I want to feel like a fucking

human and not like a deranged Hansen brother. So I got on the old YouTube, which by the way,

what a dark sad place. And you know, I am eventually going to start video, videoing me recording

my podcast from home because my agent will knife me if I don't and I have all the equipment and I

was supposed to start doing that months ago, but like, you know, I just want to be present. But now

...