Welcome to Lessons episodes of Success Story, part of the HubSpot Podcast Network.

These Lessons Episodes will be shorter conversations with past guests,

valued members of the Success Story community, and myself. They'll be focused on teaching you

actionable insightful takeaways that you can use to upscale your personal and

professional life. So today I want to talk about communicating. I want you to just stay with me because this is one of the most important videos that I've ever done because myself like all of you you all think you're good at communicating but most of us really suck at

communicating and I'm very fortunate because I have a podcast and that gives me the

arena to test out different ways to communicate effectively as well as my entire working career.

But the point is, I think most of us think we're way better at it than we actually are and most of us

suck at it. Because I want you to just think about this for a second, raise your hand if this sounds familiar.

You're in a meeting, your

friends venting about their job, you're on a first date, whatever it is. The other

person asks you a question. You give a response, they share their thoughts, so on

so forth, back and forth like a tennis match you serve they

return but it lacks so much depth there is no real understanding there's no

connection being built and yeah I get it you all have friends and you've all

been building these relationships for years but that's not the most effective way

to communicate properly because you've been friends with somebody for 10 years is not a

practical way you don't have 10 years to build

connection and depth with everybody in theory you should be able to do it the first

time you speak to them but most of us are so absolutely awful at communication. It takes two, three, four, five, ten times speaking to somebody before we pierce that surface level.

And why is this? It's because everybody, I do this, you do this this we listen to respond rather than to understand and this

ruins our relationships is massively hurts our success one of my favorite quotes on communication

...