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Music

And...

Ladies and gentlemen, listeners of the Bitch Bible podcast.

I have been legally and professionally encouraged to start this episode with a formal apology

to Michael Bubley, his family, and his fans.

In last week's episode, I encouraged people to dick punch him and affiliated him with

the terrorist organization formerly known as Al-Qaeda.

These statements were made in jest and hold no truth.

Even though it is my righteous opinion that his cover of Olivia Rodrigo's driver's

license is equivalent to a terrorist attack on the eardrums and the vagina.

But once again, that is simply an opinion and not a fact.

Although as I'm vocalizing this statement in the hopes of deferring any potential legal

action or morality clause infractions, I have realized that I'm actually not in the wrong

here because voicing opinions shouldn't result in legal ramifications.

Well, unless you're a massive pussy with a big wallet that's perpetuating antiquated

patriarchal injustice to a house-poor Jewish woman during Leo's season, allegedly.

I am very sorry to those who I have offended.

Not because I've offended you, but because you are so spineless and humorless that you

couldn't metabolize my statements as jokes.

Because you're fucking stupid.

And stupidity garners sympathy.

...