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Bon Giorno. Hello everybody. Welcome to the Bitch Bible podcast. I have had anal leakage since Monday morning and it's been a mother fucking whirlwind.

Sorry this episode is late, just like all the others. At least this week I have an excuse. I've chugged just enough Pepto Bismill to barely hold my butt cheeks together in hopes of getting through this episode without any interruptions. But first I would just like to say this at the top of the show because it's important we're starting off on a bit of a different tone.

This week so bear with me I've gone back and forth multiple times on whether I was going to say this not say this but Jackie Shimmel lives without secrets. I feel very lucky to be a woman slash bitch with an audience and the ability to express myself uncensored through a platform and a medium that I fucking own.

You know, like I said, I have gone back and forth on this hence, you know, this episode being late that and the torrential diarrhea that is escaping my body hot tip don't eat sushi in Italy.

But I've always said that, you know, I live on a bashedly and in this fucking weird time in this fucking weird world of social media where everything is so curated and contrived and just so stupid.

It's all just so stupid. It's nail art and beauty contour tips and stupid recipes and vacation footage with weird voiceovers from somebody you've never even met and petite biscuit.

It's bizarre and it's fine and we all participate but there's got to be a yang to the yang and I simply just must practice what I preach.

So if I'm going to show you my cringe travel and my micro green garnish dinners and my swipe to shop affiliate links, you better be sure as fuck that Jackie Shimmel is also going to keep it as one hundo as I can when moments in history like this present themselves.

Oh God, she's getting political. This isn't stop. You got to just stop with that. We've heard it. It's like Polly Want to crack her.

Shut the fuck up and listen. I had an abortion. Sure left.

Things I never thought I'd say on a microphone. I had an abortion when I was 19 years old. Like I said, I had zero intention of ever saying this publicly.

Literally only two people in my life know this my husband Andrew who I told after we were married and my best friend Virginia who I told maybe four years ago for 10 years I never told one person Leo shut up. He's he's a pro life for.

We really need to change that terminology. That's a whole other story for 10 years. Nobody. Crickets. Okay. I never told my mother. I never told my sister real awkward phone call. I'm going to have with my father later today. Hey dad. It was a blast. Also just like a heads up. I had an abortion 13 years ago. And I'm going to talk about it on my podcast. Love you.

Honestly, I was just so ashamed and embarrassed. And you know, at the time I could rationalize it was not avasive. It was super early. And I shouldn't have to quantify any of those things. I was just barely 19 thought my life was over and made a responsible decision that I have never once regretted.

In the past week, I've talked to so many friends that went through the same thing and everybody just kept it secret. And these are not reckless morally bankrupt baby killing horse. Well, well, you know, some definite horse in the bunch and good for them. But just young women being young women with young men being young men with severely different consequences and rights.

And I'm not going to get into the religious influences that have come into play with politics and reproductive rights because it's all been said. But I do feel that these points are both archaic and myopic.

And I also understand that many women of color have felt oppressed by the system for a very long time and some overprivileged white woman standing on a podium that lives in California fighting the good fight is setting myself up to be fully annihilated. And that's okay. I get it.

So with all of that also birth control isn't free cool cool cool. Also, there's a tampon shortage cool cool cool. There's also going to be a mother fucking mattress shortage because I'm going to have to shove a twin temperedic inside of me every single month. Oh, and then when baby braille and gets knocked up at age 17 and has to have a baby with her high school boyfriend Chad who secretly wants a penis up his butt. She also won't be able to get baby formula because oh rat. There's a short.

In order to that and by the way, I have inverted nipples no baby formula cool cool cool. Oh, and then also we have to warn baby braille in junior that she might get shot up at a school. Great. You're doing amazing sweetie.

I still don't want to attend any type of March. I don't want this to get missed construed. Honestly, it's just like too hot outside and I'm like it's just not really my journey.

But I would like to facilitate the supreme court to kindly choke on a big fat dick. And if any of this offends you and you're very strict moral compass that doesn't lean judgmental at all.

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