Know The Assignment
Absolutely Not
Dear Media
4.9 • 14K Ratings
🗓️ 3 June 2026
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this episode, Heather is back in ATL after shooting her 3rd special in Knoxville, TN. She chats about the crazy audience members, going through a McDonalds drive-thru, how she was booking a vacation while she should’ve been concentrating on her special. It’s been a long weekend, and the next few days she will be kicking her heels up. She takes on some of the most unhinged voicemails to date and is beginning to think her hotline number is definitely in a Pilot gas station bathroom stall.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a Dear Media production. |
| 0:06.5 | Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time. |
| 0:12.6 | I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Hello, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the absolutely not podcast. |
| 0:29.8 | I'm your host, Heather McMahon. How are you? I got my shades on because I'm tired. How are we doing? |
| 0:37.0 | I hope you are fantastic. |
| 0:39.8 | Ooh, guys, it is, it is June 1st, the first day of Pride Month, the first day of summer, |
| 0:48.0 | you know, the gays, days, thems, and me's, we're all excited for a break. |
| 0:54.6 | Okay? |
| 0:55.1 | We are excited for a break. |
| 0:59.6 | Ray said he was on his queried, and I said, |
| 1:01.6 | if you ever, ever say that again, |
| 1:03.7 | I will punch you in the dick. |
| 1:05.3 | And that will be a hate crime that I will follow through on. |
| 1:08.0 | Okay. |
| 1:08.7 | No, but it's the first day of June. |
| 1:10.6 | And if you remember a couple episodes back, I said, I will cry when June comes. |
| 1:17.5 | That's when I will have time to really feel my feelings, name the emotion, lean into the |
| 1:23.9 | exhaustion. |
| 1:24.9 | And I did. |
| 1:25.6 | Last night, I watched the series finale of hacks. Shout out to |
| 1:30.4 | Lucia and Jen and Paul. They don't know me, but I know them. And they wrote a show that has just been |
| 1:36.5 | unbelievably near and dear to my heart, because it's like looking in the mirror. Like I am Deborah Vance, |
... |
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