Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Vale of Jesse Thorn. This week,

Kitchen Locoparentis. Pablo brings the case against his wife, Deanna. They allow their two-year-old

daughter, Mati, to help out in the kitchen by mixing pouring and preparing food, but they can

agree on how much responsibility is too much. Should a toddler be let loose in a kitchen?

Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

All that Syria for Elle had taught her went racing through her head, swift as a deer, quiet as a

shadow, fear-cut steeper than swords. Quick as a snake, calm as still water, fear-cut steeper than

swords. Strong as a bear, fierce as a wolverine, fear-cut steeper than swords. That man who fears

losing has already lost. Fear-cut steeper than swords, fear-cut steeper than swords, fear-cut steeper

than swords. Vale of Jesse, swear the men. Please rise and raise your right hands.

You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he lives in a box

and doesn't eat, rather getting his nutrients from the air?

Yes. Yes.

Very well, Judge Hodgman. Please do not mock my lifestyle as a boxerian.

It is making me very slender and my bones very brittle.

And Deanna, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in your favor,

can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the courtroom, Pablo?

No. No. No. No.

Now, we reach you in Bogotá, Colombia, is that correct?

Yes. And am I pronouncing that correctly?

You pronounce it pretty well.

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