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That's better help h eelp dot com We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can

only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 684.

E.X.

2822 certificate number 34836.

Kevlar! After our success on the recent show about the Bo-Pall disaster, I realized that...

What a success me? We did that... We've recorded the show about a chemical leak like a few weeks before it was timely.

Is it timely now? Did something happen? East Palestine, Ohio. Oh, there was a giant chemical leak and now people are going to think we did that show in response

to it.

...