Justin Lehmiller - The Science Of Sexual Fantasies

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 30 May 2022

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What we fantasize about sexually can say a lot about...well, a lot. Our insecurities, our identity, our culture, the list goes on. And what you might think is some strange niche only you hang out in might be more common than you think! This is the conversation the incredible Justin Lehmiller brought to the table, and I'm excited to share it with you. If you're with a part of any variety, listen in together for some great insights. Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller’s research focuses on topics including casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits. His studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Connect with Justin: -Website: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/ -LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinlehmiller -Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=r3pNkRoAAAAJ -Twitter: https://twitter.com/justinlehmiller -Book: Tell Me What You Want: https://amzn.to/3x1vmvU -Podcast: The Sex and Psychology Podcast: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/podcasts/ Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, Justin, welcome to the Man Talk Show. How you doing today?
0:13.9	Doing well. Thanks so much for having me. Good, man. Good. Well, I'm excited. I think it was my podcast producer. He and I were having a chat and I had put out a poll to my audience and, you know, just asking what type of conversations do you want to have more of? Like, who should I interview on the podcast? And sex was a huge topic, obviously. And your name had come up. And so as I dug into some of your work, I was like, oh, this is, this would be a really great conversation. I love that you were one of the top five sex experts that you need to follow on Twitter by men's health. I was like, that's, I don't know that sex experts were a thing, but, but there you go. So before we kind of get into the juicy bits, I guess you could say,
0:56.2	pun intended intentionally, tell us a story about a defining moment in your life that made you who you
1:01.9	are today. Sure. So the first one that comes to mind for me is when I was in graduate school,
1:08.4	I was working on my PhD in social psychology at Purdue University,
1:12.5	and I was studying the science of relationships and what makes for happy, healthy, long-term
1:17.8	relationships. And as part of my journey in graduate school, you know, as a teaching assistant,
1:23.4	that's kind of how you pay your way through. And I was assigned to be a teaching assistant for a
1:28.3	human sexuality course. And I had never taken a human sexuality course for my undergraduate work
1:34.3	and my master's. I went to Catholic universities where sex wasn't something that was really
1:40.0	talked about. And prior to that, I went to Catholic schools for much of my life. And, you know,
1:46.5	the only message is I really got around sex in school or just don't do it. So when I had the
1:52.8	opportunity to be this teaching assistant, it opened my eyes to this whole world of sex research.
1:57.5	I didn't know that it was a thing that you could study sex or how sex research
2:02.3	actually worked. And I realized through that process that I didn't know much about sex. And it was
2:09.8	weird because I was studying romantic relationships, getting a PhD in this area. And no one was
2:15.5	talking about sex there either, which was kind of strange because sex
2:18.8	is kind of an important part of most people's relationships and so that's what really set me
2:24.0	down the path of becoming a sex educator and researcher I realized how little I know and therefore
2:30.3	how little most other people probably know as well and so that's what really motivated me to get into the field.
2:37.0	What would you say, and maybe I'm not too sure if you have a direct answer of this and maybe
2:42.5	there's a couple answers.
	...

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