Jesus Slams 'He Gets Us' Super Bowl Ad

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On the next episode of the God Pod: Santa, Jesus, and God write jokes and read nice reviews. On ‘Ask God,’ you’ll learn if Jesus will skydive into the Magic Kingdom, Jesus’s ab exercise routine, if Santa and Jesus are aliens, where to find Full Of The Dickens Bookstore, and if Jesus wore a banana hammock. On ‘JFC LOL,’ the Pope says being gay is not a crime, ‘Jesus Gets Us’ spends the big bucks on a sneaky Super Bowl ad, Mr. Beast heals the blind and makes Jesus jealous, and God joins Christian Mingle. On ‘Santa’s Workshop Union Report, Hermey The Elf gives an update on his bathroom dentistry and reports on CEO pay cuts from Apple, Goldman Sacks, and Google. On the ‘GD News,’ Tucker Carlson claims nicotine frees the mind, conservatives lose their cool over the word woke, and an Australian broadcaster is forced to play a dirty song about coal. The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This time on the god pod there is a great theme park in New Hampshire called Santa's village
0:06.4	Is that a reality? Have you been?
0:08.3	Of course I am Santa!
0:11.4	And it's open pretty much all year. Wait actually they reopened May 27th
0:17.9	I just find you two hot sometimes
0:22.6	Oh
0:23.6	It's disturbingly hot. It's like we're supposed to worship this guy and it's making me feel
0:29.6	Shame over my flabby stomach. Thanks dad. That's a comment. I love to hear from my dad
0:37.5	To make a $22 an hour. That's some pretty good bank. What are you making per hour there, Hermie?
0:42.5	I make two jingle bells an hour
0:48.2	Can you trade those in for for cash? Like what do you do with all those jingle bells? You can trade them for snow
0:54.7	You could trade them for coal
0:59.6	You can trade
1:08.9	Well, hi there human. I'm the Lord thy God. Welcome to the god pod
1:15.1	With me today is my son Jesus Christ
1:20.0	Yes, and as the father has loved me so have I loved you dear listener. Oh God. What are you quoting Bible verses now?
1:28.1	I'm quoting myself. Oh, quoting yourself. Oh
1:31.9	That's okay. Also with us today is Santa the Clause
1:36.6	Hello there. I have some jingle bell sound effects to play, but there's an ad an ad. No hold on. No
1:47.5	No, wait, wait. Shut up. Wait. Oh, jingle bells
1:52.8	Is that copyright free?
1:55.1	Yes, it is
	...

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