Jesus Is an Ugly Crier (And Sorry About That No-Show Rapture)
Distorted View Daily
Tim Henson
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 26 September 2025
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today on the Show Cold Open & Setup Segment 1 — The Rapture That Wasn’t Pull Quote: “Jesus Palooza was allegedly a two-day event—gotta keep the heavenly traffic orderly.” Segment 2 — World Premiere: Meade Skelton — “Distorted View Daily” Segment 3 — AI-Generated XXX Ornaments Segment 4 — Liquid Ass at School (Florence, SC) […]
The post Jesus Is an Ugly Crier (And Sorry About That No-Show Rapture) first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi Freaks, it's Friday, September 26th, 2025. |
| 0:04.3 | Coming up on the program today, the world premiere of Mead Skelton's Distorted View Song. |
| 0:08.5 | Plus, Jesus Christ appears to be an ugly crier. |
| 0:11.6 | One liquid ass attack cost a school district over $50,000. |
| 0:15.2 | And order your minimouse getting fucked in the ass by Mickey Christmas ornaments today. |
| 0:23.1 | Cool aid. |
| 0:24.2 | Something that's meant to be enjoyable. |
| 0:26.4 | Somertime and fun. |
| 0:27.9 | Cool eight. |
| 0:29.1 | Cool eight. |
| 0:30.2 | A five sandbag makes two warts of. |
| 0:32.6 | Dreams of Kool-Aid. |
| 0:33.9 | Kool-Aid. |
| 0:36.0 | Wednesday afternoon, this Brightmoor block was full of Kool-Aid smiles. But Tuesday night, not so much. I've lived on this block over 20 years. It's the first time I've ever seen anything like that. Some bad boys were hanging out on Lampere. In front of this old abandoned school building, there were a few other fellas in front of this house |
| 0:54.5 | across the street. And there were some verbal blows being thrown from both sides. |
| 0:59.9 | The initial argument from my understanding began over Kool-Aid. |
| 1:04.8 | Hey, Kool-A! Oh, yes, right. Several Detroit cops confirmed that two of the dudes from the two crews were |
| 1:13.7 | fighting over who makes the best Kool-Aid, but the tongue lashings turned into a gunfight. |
| 1:20.4 | And they started shooting at each other. |
| 1:22.7 | Over Kool-Aid. I don't know what to say. I know, right? Can you believe this? The two young men pulled out their pistols and opened fire, but they both missed their intended target. |
| 1:33.7 | They ended up hitting two other guys, one in the wrist, and the other took a bullet to the butt. |
| 1:39.3 | I just don't understand some of the kids today. |
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