Jesus Bans Guns At Christmas
The God Show
God
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 9 December 2021
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We discuss the conspiracy that the Moon landing was faked. Then we answer questions from humans, such as the dictionary meaning of Christmas. God asks humans what they would do if THEY were HIM. We debate whether Chumbawamba's song 'Tubthumping' is better than A-ha's 'Take On Me.' Later we discuss getting a WW2 mortar stuck up your bottom, bags of cash found behind Joel Osteen's toilet, and elected Republican officials posing in front of Christmas trees with machine guns.
After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | today on the god pod they made a 10 minute version of all too well that's on |
| 0:06.6 | her latest re-release and it's very good okay well she's like she's like |
| 0:11.6 | pink floider legs up one now Moses wait wait wait okay take it easy I know |
| 0:15.9 | you're just trying to get a rise out of me but come on it's inspiring I get |
| 0:21.8 | knocked down but I get up again and you're never going to take me down I get |
| 0:28.0 | fine but I get up again actually this is Jesus's whole story it's his |
| 0:35.1 | stick |
| 0:38.6 | were you treating it like how people treat the royal wedding yeah I was so |
| 0:44.6 | excited to see him walk out of the White House I had to watch live let me |
| 0:49.5 | cast it in the different view Jesus this is how much Jesus cares about the |
| 0:54.8 | cause that while everyone else was celebrating the end of cheering me he |
| 1:00.2 | fascism Jesus was exploiting that moment to go to best by to get himself a |
| 1:08.9 | PlayStation 5 |
| 1:22.9 | welcome to the god pod I'm your host of host the good lord with the most the one |
| 1:27.6 | and only Almighty God thank you for joining us as we |
| 1:31.2 | attempt to restore order to this broken multiverse universe planets sector of |
| 1:40.4 | the galaxy that I have made I spend a lot of time focusing on planet earth |
| 1:46.5 | Earth 616 to be exact it's it's pretty messed up pretty messed up but I'm here |
| 1:53.2 | today with my pals you know they help me get through it what's up Jesus we |
| 1:57.3 | cope together I died for you all for what Mary Christmas it's true Mary Magdalene |
| 2:06.2 | is here hey guys what's up hey now if you made Earth 616 which means there were |
| 2:11.9 | 615 different versions that were all failures too no no this is the it's |
... |
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