January Bonus Episode: New Moon

Morbid

Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart

Comedy, Paranormal, True Crime, Dark History

4.4 • 100.6K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2026

⏱️ 160 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Weirdos!! It's here! the second deep dive into the twisted world of the Twilight Saga! Grab your brown-tinted filters and emotional support glitter, because Ash and Alaina are back in Forks for a full-throttle deep dive into New Moon. For this month’s BONUS EPISODE we’re unpacking Edward’s dramatic exit, Bella’s months-long depression montage (hello, spinning seasons), and the introduction of a jort-wearing werewolf jamborees: Jacob Black. We debate whether ghost Edward is helpful or wildly unhinged, and try to make sense of the Volturi’s whole vibe! There’s chaos, hot takes, and Bella imitations that will make you howl! Light a candle, stare moodily out a window, and join us, because the angst is real, the wolves are howling, and we’re all #TeamMessy! 🖤

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash.
0:02.6	And I'm Elena.
0:03.8	And it's time for a fucking new moon bonus.
0:24.6	Time, fuckers.
0:29.0	We've been so excited for this.
0:30.3	I'm fucking lit right now.
0:33.8	It's about to get cuckoonettes bananas up in this bitch. It's about, you're about to sit in a chair for four months.
0:38.3	That's what you're about to do.
0:39.9	And there's a possibility that you will. Can I, listen, we're just going to jump right in.
0:46.7	Yeah. At one point she's looking out that window. I think it's in October and there's just
0:50.7	like, that's her side yard. Yeah, there's a whole family walking through her yard. Why? And we are to believe that they, that there are woods right there. So I'm like, they just emerge from the woods. Like, why are they just walking outside of your way? I always think that when I see it. Halloween goes nuts, I guess. Yeah, we're, uh, we're talking about
1:12.0	new moon, everybody. I hope you watched. I hope you read. I hope you got the illustrated guide.
1:17.3	I hope you've been on Steffi's website. I hope you have. I hope you've done it all. But the good
1:22.3	news is, if you've done none of those things, we've done it for you. Here we are. Here we are, bitch.
1:29.0	It came out in 2009.
1:31.7	2009.
1:33.1	2009.
1:33.2	This one's directed by Chris White's this time, not Catherine Hardwick.
1:38.3	Apparently, it was the short production time that got her because she didn't want to have to, like, she didn't think she could get the story with script write.
1:45.6	Okay.
1:46.0	Because it was like a year or something.
1:47.3	It was very quick.
	...

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