I think that the problem may have been that there was a stone-engined monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

All right? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

T-B-T-L!

There's no understating the hugeness of what you are about to hear, dear friendos,

and that would be a Thursday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L.

This show, that is probably too beautiful to live.

Extortion, bribery, junkyard cats. This is nasty, heavy stuff.

This is also episode 725 in a collector's series. My name is Luke Furbank.

I am your host, weighing in at 186 pounds.

We've got a fun show in store for you today.

Hi, this is Luke's Mom Foozy coming tonight on T-B-T-L.

Speaking of junkyard cats and heavy stuff, there is a lawsuit going on between two kitty litter manufacturers.

It is based on a claim that is made in a commercial, and it is some incredibly illuminating science that's been introduced into evidence, including,

and I quote,

cats do not talk,

as presented by the lawyers representing a company called Church and Dwight will get to that.

Inspired by kittens!

And we've got a parcel of awesome, not awesome, to share with you a whole bunch of stories.

The pint in Britain may be going away.

A guy has stopped using soap and says he'll never go back.

And also, shut up already about the lost Lotto numbers, because you would have won $150.

Better than a kick in the crotch, but not life-changing.

...