T-B-T-L is call takers. T-B-T-L is mystery solvers. T-B-T-L is love songs. T-B-T-L is give backers. T-B-T-L is

too beautiful to live on 97-3-FM Cairo.

Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak for the show from now on.

Welcome to Post-Racial America. I'm the face of Post-Racial America. Deal with it, Kate Blanchett.

As Jay would say, he got flow. Hey, this is Jay-Z calling on behalf of...

Hi, it just fills the cracks of the heart. It sure does. How else would I have the endorsement of both Paul Blart and the Jigaman?

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. To a Monday night edition of T-B-T-L, the show that's probably too

beautiful to live. It is our turn. Oh, it most certainly is. I'm your host, Luke Burbank, weighing in at a

svelte. Post-half marathon weight of let the evil soul.

100 and 90 pounds. It's simple math, really. 13 miles. That's about 1300 calories out.

15 margaritas, three bags of ruffle sour cream and cheddar chips, about 47,000 calories in.

So yeah, that's what happened to me this weekend. That's how I ran a half marathon and gained three

pounds by Luke Burbank. High-flash. Spock, sabotage the system. You're not going to sabotage the

system are you tonight? No. Or even sabotage it? Well. Maybe. How are you? Great. Yeah, we're going to

have a more detailed discussion of my trip to Phoenix and your trip to the Las Vegas, but let's

give us the one sentence preview. How was it? It was really great. It was gorgeous weather.

That middle was awesome and I'm more up than down. Somehow each trip you go to Vegas, you

manage to find entertainment that I find more horrible and yet you manage to always come out

ahead in the money department. Maybe that's my problem. I haven't been seeing Zumanity enough.

I had to actually choose because both bet and Barry Mallow were playing, but I've already seen

Barry Rock Las Vegas, so I had to go to the best. The embarrassment of riches, really.

Now we had a bump in the road last week when you went 135.5, not unlike when Jeff Connoway,

...