Hi, this is Janet Lansfrey. Welcome to Unruffled.

Today I'm going to be responding to a question from a parent that brings up this,

this challenge that I feel like almost every parent I know has.

It's actually a solution to challenges that we face with our kids' behaviors, when they seem so unreasonable and maybe emotional, and we're trying to respond in a way that calms them down or just makes them stop doing that behavior, whatever it is.

And there's this one solution that improves the situation almost every time.

It's like right in our face. And we want to do everything else but that instinctively.

So anyway, not to be too mysterious or confusing, it's this idea of just accepting what our kids are feeling, no matter what it is.

That doesn't mean we're accepting the behavior that we're feeding into the behavior, that we're letting them disrupt in places or, you know, have loud meltdowns in front of everyone on the street.

It just means that we're helping them get through that moment from a place of acceptance of

their right to feel whatever they're feeling. That's, if we think about it, what we all want

from people who are in relationships with or people that care about us.

Just let it be okay for me to feel what I'm feeling.

Yeah, maybe it seems ridiculous.

Maybe it seems like I'm overreacting.

But it's just the way I feel.

Can I just feel this way and have it be okay with you?

So here's this parent's note. It's sort of an exchange that we had, but she gave a lot of good information that I feel like I can help her

centered around this idea, just simply allow her her her kids to feel what they're feeling.

I think this will help you understand what I'm talking about.

Hi, Janet. I've been listening to your podcasts and I've been trying to implement boundaries more and follow through with consequences. Yesterday, for example, my two and a half year old wanted

watermelon after dinner and we offered some, but he wanted some pieces cut small and not others,

and he didn't like the way I had done it. So he began trying to throw his fork and tip the

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