Hey everyone, my name is Rosie and I'm one of the new hosts of Radio Headspace.

I'm an author and a yoga meditation teacher and my new episodes are debuting February of next year.

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Hi, I'm Andy and welcome to Radio Headspace and to Tuesday morning.

I was chatting with a friend and he'd been in our meeting and he said,

oh you know, this happened in the meeting and this person said this and I just so much wish I said this.

It wasn't anything rude. It was just in retrospect he'd gone away and you know he thought of the perfect comeback or he thought of the perfect kind of line.

I feel like that happens quite a lot in life. I don't know if that happens to you but he was saying that he couldn't quite understand why he was continuing to obsess.

Either regretting that he hadn't said it or wishing that he had said it and he said he couldn't really work out what was behind it.

We were chatting about this and I don't know. It seems to me that there's almost sort of like an intellectual competition to some extent.

In life I think very often important conversations. Maybe it's in an argument we want to have the last word.

We want to say you know the thing that's really going to, if you like, win the argument or be remembered within the context of that conversation.

Sometimes when we don't have that win, when we don't have that feeling, when we walk away from it, it's very easy to sort of get caught up in that.

It's the ego right? Trying to win, trying to dominate a conversation, an intellectual battle if you like. It's no different from perhaps an athlete looking back at a sports game or a moment of competition and thinking,

ah, if only I had done that in that moment, if only I thought of doing this. It's the same thing. We're looking back, wishing that we had done something different, thinking that we could have won in some way.

And when we think about conversation, when we think about communication, my hope is that there isn't too much thought going into winning.

Clearly our communication with others is open, is free, we are interested in what others have to say. And we're okay with not having the last word in letting someone else have that.

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